My precious children; I wonder what you would be today

It has been 14 years since I’ve lost my precious son and 10 years since I’ve lost my second baby.  I don’t understand why God chose to take them home but, I know that they are in a better place, they are not in danger, nor or they suffering in this old world that we live in.  They are cradled in the arms of God with my dear sweet grandmothers Ida and Eula enjoying rocking them and spoiling them rotten.  Their Dad has been with them for 8 years now and I know that they are watching over me and leading me on certain paths.  I feel their presence from time to time.

Lately I’ve been seeing all the posts of my former classmates and friends celebrating their children graduating from high school.  I take a deep breath and wonder what my children would be today.  I envision all the excitement of graduation, the celebrating the picture taking.  Acting silly just to make them laugh.

I know that God had a plan when he decided that he needed you more than I do but, it is something that is very hard to understand at times.  I long to hold your hand, to see your face, to hear you laugh.  I do my best to hold on to the promise that I will see you one day and won’t ever have to leave you.  At times like this when everyone is celebrating I’m dying inside and feeling such emptiness and sadness, sometimes it’s almost more than I can bear.

I have to remind myself that I have other children that need me and that love me. I celebrate with them but, you are always in my thoughts and on my mind.

I really wonder what you would be today but, I guess for now I’ll have to continue celebrating with you in my thoughts.  Knowing that you are there beside me, in the wind, in the sun and in the rain, in the laughter and in the tears.

All my love to my beautiful children, Ma

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