What do you do when life changes and you feel you can’t roll with the punches?

So you are going along loving life, happy go lucky and then all of a sudden life throws you some curve balls and you wonder how you are going to roll with the punches.  Yeah, I’ve been there a time or two.

My husband and I are from two totally different worlds, I have always been the positive go with the flow kinda person.  My husband on the other hand has been the one to find negative in a situation, I am not doing that kind of person.  We’ve learned to live with these differences as most of the time we compliment each other.  He says that he draws strength from my positive energy and he would be lost without me.

When we first started dating he worked offshore and he had time to rest when he came home from a hitch, then we would spend time together cooking extravagant meals.  He spoiled me by cooking dinner and telling me to go put my feet up, drink a glass of wine or he’d make me a cup of hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows.  I can’t even begin to tell you how much I miss those days.  I felt important, I felt loved and appreciated.  I felt intrigued because I never knew what we were going to cook or where the day was going to take us.  Sometimes it was a simple one dish meal but, the prep work that still went into it was very thoughtful.  I wonder how this is going to taste together or I bet this would be great.  Like making a marinade with teriyaki sauce with barbeque sauce or something sweet with something sour.

As time went on things slowly changed, we had actually went our separate ways for a couple of years.  We still went places together, I still went to see him at his house and such but, I made it clear that we were just friends.  That was VERY hard because I love this man dearly.  There were just some things that I could not accept in our relationship.  Several times I would leave his house crying and he was in the driveway crying, begging me to stay and I said No, I have to go home.  I don’t know how I had the strength to do it for so long.

My husband finally got into church and got saved and later baptized.  This changed his perspective on a lot of things in life.  He realized that he not only wanted me in his life permanently but, he needed me.  So he purposed and of course I said yes.  So here lies the start of a huge change in our lives and our relationship.  Once we got married he started picking on me that I had the responsibility of doing things because “I’m the woman” or “You ain’t nothing but a woman”  well I nipped that in the butt real quick I tell you.  But, there have been a few times where this attitude arose again on occasion.  I think for the most part he is joking but, when he starts with it, he harps on it.  I’m not trying to put him down, please don’t take it that way.  I know that I have my faults or quirks too.

Another major change that we’ve had to face is that he no longer works offshore, we don’t get that “break” from each other.  He doesn’t get that down time to rest & relax for a couple of days to regroup himself.  He is not making the money that he made offshore, which is not that big of a deal most of the time, unless of course he wants to spend money.  Poor thing is so tired all the time from working a daily job that he does not have the urge to cook like he did when he was offshore.  He has never been a big fast food person but, lately that’s pretty much a daily thing.

I went to the doctor because I was having some serious problems with anger and rage.  He could be sleeping when I come home and I would feel so irritated.  I’ve actually caught myself in the kitchen throwing dishes for no apparent reason…..This is soooo not in my character.   So off to the doctor I go and I found out that my thyroid level as just above the low mark but, my pituitary gland was in overdrive–it was telling my thyroid to work but, my thyroid was not responding so in a sense my body was attacking itself.  They put me on medicine and oh my God the difference has been great.  I almost feel normal again.

We’ve also recently moved into an older house that needs a lot of work.  The plan was to get a shed, pay off the shed and hopefully my car then we would get a trailer or modular home to put on the lot since it is in my name, we can use it for collateral.  Problem is it is CRAMPED to say the least, we don’t have much storage space or space period.  We don’t have a living room so we can’t escape each other’s company for any period of time.  We have a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom.  Ughh….we need space.  We need our own space, away from each other too.  This has really been putting a strain on our relationship, we are both edgy and irritated.  This has not been making for a pleasant situation at all.  So last night we had a discussion; half talking & half arguing.  We’ve decided that we have to upgrade our living quarters ASAP….It’s gonna be tough for a bit but, this is one of those punches that I don’t know how else we will roll with.  I feel this is our only option as I need to be close to my parents because my Dad is facing some health problems.

I’m just glad that we were finally able to sit down and talk things out.  We are not as edgy today.  Now we just have to figure out when and where we are going to get the funds to get a house or trailer.  I know we can get a loan, I just seriously don’t want to go into debt for it again.  So here we go rolling with the punches again……..

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