You left without saying goodbye….

It was just another ordinary day, getting kids off to school, husband heading off to work….none of us knew that this would be the last time we would hear your voice, smell your perfume, hug you; say I love you until the next time.  But, there would be no next time, there would be no more laughter, family gatherings filled with joy…. only tears, pain, questions filled with anger!  Why! Why!

You were such a loving person, always worried about everyone else, making sure your family had what they needed at all times. Your family was your everything, your absolute mission in life was taking care of your husband and your girls. Your girls are lost without you, aching to have your arms around them again, longing to hear your tender voice.  Longing to hear you say that you love them or that you’re proud of them or even fuss them for doing something they know they should not…..

Your husband has an emptiness in his heart, his heart has been ripped into a million pieces and will never be put back together again.  You shared such a love, took such pride in your family.  You created life in your girls through that love, there will never be another like you.  You are the piece that will forever be missing in his puzzle called life.

Your Mother & Father….your Mother gave you life, she can’t bear the pain of missing you.  Your Father, he’s prideful and tries to hide his pain but, everyone knows he’s hurting, you were of course Daddy’s girl.  The pain wakes your parents in the night, they long to wake up from this nightmare and see your smiling face, kiss you and hug you never to let go…. They realize it’s not a nightmare, not one they can wake up from anyway.

Your brothers and sisters… they too try to stay strong, they feel they have to stay strong for your girls and your husband, your mother & father.  But, they lost a piece of themselves when you left for you are a part of them.  You are in every childhood memory that they have, every birthday party, Christmas, Easter and so on.  You are intertwined in each other like a spider’s web, where one of you ends another begins.

Your Grandmother she too tries to stay strong, she says she’s ok but, you were like one of her own.  She waited on you in the mornings to pick up the girls for school when they had spent the night with her.  She too longs to see you, to hug you, to say I love you….

Many others, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and numerous friends feel the burden of losing you.  They know how close your family is and how much your family meant to you.

My prayer is that God will somehow give everyone comfort and the peace that only God can give, the peace that surpasses all understanding.  I’ve lost loved ones, children, a husband, a father and my grandparents.  My heart hurts for I know the pain that your closest loved ones are feeling.  I wish I could take all their pain away.  I wish I could go up to Heaven and get you, bring you back home, even for one day…. Just to say that final goodbye….. that final goodbye, that was never said for no one expected you to leave so suddenly.  We all know that you are watching over your loved ones and longing to be with them too.  Fly high sweet angel, we’ll love you forever

In loving memory

For Tabatha Dinger Gross

Crystal G. R. Hoksbergen


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